would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We smell like vodka and hangover
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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