and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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