addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
