The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
