If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
