Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
