Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
handjob tips. give me some.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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