i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
