the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
