Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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