Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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