question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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