kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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