In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
