I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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