you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
