i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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