um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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