Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Pooping to opera.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
