i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
