I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
