Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I want to fling myself into the sun
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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