she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
