two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
