apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
