his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
