sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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