U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
