none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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