It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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