I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I wear drunk well.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
