but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
