but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
