Define "chronic" masturbator.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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