just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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