This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
