this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
