Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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