This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
