i just wanna soil my oats bro
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
