we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
