New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
