they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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