talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Boobs speak an international language.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
