Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.

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(917): View more from New York City

She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.

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(904): View more from Florida

The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.

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(207): View more from Maine

i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like

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(514): View more from Quebec

she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up

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(706): View more from Georgia

On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies

(1-303): View more from Colorado

You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?

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(415): View more from California

yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line

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(585): View more from New York

ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i've often wondered how it works

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