Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
