if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
