I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize