how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Randomize
