Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize