Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
