I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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