Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
