First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
