bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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