Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You can't motorboat a personality
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize