'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
