How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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