You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
