Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
