your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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