we're blogging at a bar
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize