Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
