Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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