idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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