Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
