So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize